I never thought I’d refer to a zombie book as really, really, boring, but This is Not a Test was a snooze-fest.
Zombies have taken over, and six teens have managed to barricade themselves into the local high school and are trying to survive. But the main character, Sloane, doesn’t want to make it through. Just months before, Sloane’s older sister ran away, leaving Sloane alone with their abusive father. Death to her seems more appealing than struggling to live, only to return to a life she hates.
I thought the premise was interesting – will she or won’t she just give up and throw herself to the wolves zombies? But there was no inner turmoil, there was just incessant whining. Omg, I’ve never been so annoyed with a character’s constant complaining as I was with Sloane. So many times I was tempted to throw this book across the room and scream, “Kill yourself already!!” I wanted to see Sloane grow and find the will to live, but instead she just moaned and groaned and talked about wanting to die.
The other characters were almost as annoying as Sloane. They argued a lot (mostly about the same things over and over and over). They ate. The slept. Nothing really happened. Yawn.
And where the heck were the zombies? The book starts out promising with some crazy undead attacks, but after that the book could have taken place in any kind of post-apocalyptic setting. Zombies aren’t even mentioned much, let alone seen.
The ending was predictable and pointless. I don’t think what happened added anything to the story.
This is the first book in a series, and I definitely won’t be continuing on. I like my supernatural stuff to be heavy on the violence and freakiness, not on the bitching and moaning.